How Your Sex Life Changes
A strong sex life with another person can be very fulfilling, which can leave very positive effects on many areas of your life. It may be true that as you get older, sex may not be the same as it was earlier in life, but many things change along with age. Aging is one of many natural changes, which can affect intimacy, as well as the psychological changes, which accompany it.
Regardless of whether or not you are older or younger, everyone needs intimacy. That fact does not change simply because your age does. Older men, for example, enjoy life including the part of his life, which contains intimate relationships, even if it is not experienced in the same way that it was years ago.
As men get older, they have a harder time achieving an erection. Often when they do get one it is not as hard as preferred, nor will it last as long as preferred. To overcome this, you can try different sexual positions during intercourse positions which feel better to you,, hence helping to overcome the hardships. If it is difficult to maintain an erection and/or difficult to reach an orgasm, you can talk to your doctor, who will help advise you. There are many medications that can help assist you, and your doctor will be able to help decide which is best for you, or help recommend other options for you.
As women get older, most changing takes place during menopause. This is when the production of testosterone and estrogen decrease. At this point, it takes longer for the vagina to swell, and it takes longer and harder to become lubricated. Along with this, the vagina is not as elastic as it once was. An effect like this can be painful when experienced during intercourse. This is especially true when you experience more than one of these effects.
To help accommodate these effects, increase the length of foreplay. This can help encourage natural lubrication, which will make intercourse less painful. If natural lubrication is difficult to achieve, try purchasing a lubricant (but remember that some lubricants can break down the condom). Otherwise, the best treatment for vaginal dryness and non-elasticity seems to be intercourse.
Both male and females have the hormone testosterone regulating their sex drive. As you age, your body goes through changes, which will make it difficult to participate in sex the way you once did. One of these changes is the decreasing of testosterone, which diminishes sex drive, in effect. The fact you cannot participate the way you once did is nothing to be concerned with; in fact, it opens opportunities to try new positions and techniques.
Along with the techniques, you must have the right attitude, because if you think that because you are older, sex will not be as good, it probably won't be. So keep an open mind, stay positive, and try some new things and you will continue to have a satisfying sex life,
Friday, March 20, 2009 | 0 Comments
Spice Up Intercourse With Sexual Enhancement Products
As more and more people view sexual pleasure as an end in itself, young lovers, middle aged couples, and even grandparents can be seen making a beeline for sexual enhancement products.
Aphrodisiacs - These have been used by men and women to enhance libido and sexual performance since time immemorial. Today, you don't need to hunt for exotic herbs in far away bazaars. You can order herbal sexual enhancement products from the comfort of your home. Just do some research on herbs before ordering and buy reputed products only. Herbal sexual enhancement formulas are available in the form of pills and supplements and some popular herbs used are horny goat weed, damiana, tongkat ali, green oats, and rosenroot.
Scrubs, gels, oils, and lubricants- Use these products to explore each other's bodies. Massage your spouse with aromatic oil or cream and find him relax immediately. Massage is also a form of foreplay and enhances desire greatly. Use a lubricant to prepare your vagina for intercourse. This really helps during intercourse if age or a health problem is making your vagina dry. Even otherwise, many women say that they need something to make them wet at the beginning of intercourse.
Lingerie and sex accessories- Men love to see their spouses or girlfriends in sexy lingerie. Find out the color and material that turns him on and always wear matching stuff. If your lingerie is edible, it is all the more better. Buy sex toys to turn him on. These can include vibrators, silky ties and handkerchiefs, whips, collars, belts, and handcuffs. Use them often and not only on special occasions like your wedding anniversary!
Books and videos- Earlier, those watching sex videos or purchasing books on erotica were looked down upon. Today, bookstores dedicate entire sections to erotica and partners can browse such books in privacy. There is no harm in reading or watching sexually explicit material as long as you do so in privacy. In fact, doctors recommend this to couples who face boredom in marriage and low sexual desire. Reading about others engaged in sex or watching them have intercourse on video will enhance your sexual appetite and performance.
Flowers, music, and aromatic candles- These accessories help to create the right ambience for sex. You cannot relax under harsh light or the din of traffic. Therefore, choose a cozy nook in your house and create the mood for sex. Arrange fragrant flowers attractively, let your favorite music play in the background, and light those lovely candles. You'll find that these simple, inexpensive products can enhance your sexual experience.
The idea behind the use of sexual enhancement products is to break monotony that creeps into relationships after some years. You don't need to spend a fortune to have a better sex life. Just choose sexual enhancement products intelligently after noting your partner's needs and desires.
Friday, March 20, 2009 | 0 Comments
Want To End Premature Ejaculation? Change Positions!
So to answer our question, it may be said that the average couple uses at least two positions while having sex, while a relatively lesser number of couples use only one, and here lies the problem.
To put it very simply, the more positions you use, the greater the chance to end premature ejaculation. So bring out all those guides to good sex and sexual performance manuals and read up on the various positions that you can use while having sex.
Anita Hughes* of Boise, Idaho, is a 34-year-old homemaker with three children whose husband Keith appeared to have developed a premature ejaculation problem. "Keith has a high-pressure financial job and I am stressed out looking after the home and kids, so we certainly no longer have sex as often as we used to," says Anita. "And because of the long gaps between our sex sessions, Keith started ejaculating too soon, as early as two or three minutes into foreplay."
The Hughes' then consulted a psychotherapist thinking Keith's high-tension job may also have had an effect on his performance. "She agreed with that, but also suggested we use various sexual positions to find out which one suited us best and which helped Keith hold back as long as he could," says Anita. "And her advice worked like a shot, because Keith was able to end premature ejaculation in a matter of days."
Theirs is not the only success story. Today, given the immensely stressful lives that we lead, sexual anxiety is only part of a larger apprehension about life, jobs, money, kids, and various other factors. So more and more men these days find themselves seeking help for sexual performance-related problems that their forefathers could ever have imagined.
Sam Harvey is a psychotherapist with long years of sexual counseling behind him. "People are always surprised when I tell them that sexual positions offer more than just physical pleasure; they are actually tools to cure various sexual problems, ranging from premature ejaculation to sexual boredom," he says.
But that should not really come as a surprise, if you think about it. The very nature of the sexual act is such that it is based on the use of certain positions. As mankind has evolved, we have devised variations of the basic sexual position to heighten our enjoyment. However, it is increasingly obvious that these positions also physically influence the outcome of a sexual session and may actually help a man end premature ejaculation, because they are mostly linked to how the man performs and how satisfied his partner is in the end.
Obviously, there is no single position that will suit everybody, but the general idea is to choose a position that will cause the least stress on your limbs, for instance, because any kind of physical discomfort during sex invariably leads to premature ejaculation as the body seeks release from the awkward position it is in. This applies, surprise, surprise, to the missionary position too. Think about it: a man is essentially using his arms and legs to prop himself up, so that they start stiffening in a short time, and thrusting at the same time: a perfect recipe for premature ejaculation.
A better idea would be try the 'woman on top' scenario, despite any ego hassles you might have with her controlling the sexual action. This is simply a more effective way to end premature ejaculation because it leaves you in a far less stressful position.
So remember: a change of positions can work wonders. Why not try tonight?
Friday, March 20, 2009 | 0 Comments
The Importance of Having an Erection
Penile erection has been given a lot of vulgar names, but by whatever name they call it, it is very important in the reproduction of the human species and very important in a sexual relationship.
How does man get an erection? Through direct or indirect stimulation, a man can experience a penile erection. I will discuss the anatomy of a penis to widen your imagination as blood rushes into it to produce erection. Penis is composed of three columns of erection-capable tissues. Two are located laterally along the back of the penis, and the third column is located in the middle and below.
When a man experiences sexual stimulation, the brain discharges a hormone that dilates the penile arteries causing blood to flow within them, thus, an erection is achieved. The erectile tissues fill up with blood, and it helps man maintain an erection allowing him to enjoy his sexual encounter. As soon as sexual intercourse has been achieved, the penile arteries constrict and penile veins dilate to drain the blood away from the penis until the penile pressure returns back to normal.
When men are getting older, they have to face the fact that it is just not working as it used to during their younger years. Problems develop like erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation. This can happen, too, with younger men who have a lot of stress and anxiety in his life, although this is a normal occurrence. But younger men who experience temporary impotency should not fear that it is permanent. Take away the stress, and they will go back to their normal sexual function.
But for persistent and chronic occurrences of erectile dysfunction, it is important that you let your partner know of your problem so as not to create more conflict within the relationship. Secondly, after informing your partner of your erectile dysfunction problem, you should seek medical attention for help in this matter.
It is imperative to rule out an underlying medical problem or illness that is causing your impotency as impotency can be a sign or symptom of something more evil than just plain erectile dysfunction. If no underlying pathological condition is found, then you will be given a selection of erectile dysfunction medications to choose from. Among these wonder drugs are Generic Viagra, Cialis, Levitra, Kamagra, Silagra, etc. Men just have to take away their hesitancy and shyness in approaching their doctors for help in their erectile dysfunction problems, and they will find that this condition can be treated after all and give them back the satisfaction of being an active participant in a sexual relationship.
Erection is very important in the propagation of our species. Without erection, women will not conceive. It is every man's fear that he will not father his own child and promote his line. It is also important in marital relationships as sex is one of the ties that keep the couples together. Without the enjoyment of sex, stress can put a strain on the relationship.
Friday, March 20, 2009 | 0 Comments
Better Female Orgasms
While there has been a focus on male sexuality enhancement over the past ten years or so, women have often been ignored when it came to sexuality research. The focus now seems to be shifting, and women's sexuality is suddenly attracting many researchers that are looking to improve and enhance female's sex lives. Diagnosing female sexual dysfunctions is the job for a professional, but women should try and understand their own sexuality in order to get the most out of their sex life. There are a variety of techniques that work for different women, and today there are also a number of female sexual enhancement products for both increasing libido as well as enhancing female orgasm sensitivity. This article is intended to shed some light on women's sexual enhancement and increasing female orgasms.
Sometimes women can suffer from a sexual dysfunction and they aren't able to enjoy a healthy sex life as they normally should. While some dysfunctions are more serious than others, many problems are not considered to be major and are easy to understand and even correct. Low female libido is a very common complaint amongst middle aged women, and is nothing to be concerned about. Sex drive is fueled by a number of hormones, and if these hormone levels fluctuate so do female emotions. Keeping these female libido hormones in check is the trick to maintaining a healthy sex drive. Some women can even suffer from decreased orgasm sensitivity, which can be very frustrating. Luckily, there are different techniques that can help, and even some cream products for this problem.
Different techniques can often be the key for increasing female orgasm sensitivity. This includes different positions as well as different stimulation techniques for bringing on female orgasms. Every woman is different, and individuals will need to find what works best for them. Most orgasms are stimulated through the clitoris, usually by rubbing, pressing, or using a vibrator against this hyper-sensitive part of the female anatomy. While this usually works for stimulating orgasms in females, others might find that they prefer vaginal stimulation to reach orgasm. Something that should be understood is that vaginal stimulation rarely results in orgasms, and the clitoris is almost always the easiest trigger for a female orgasm.
Beyond different techniques, there are now a number of effective products for female orgasm enhancement and increasing female libido. Although the past couple of decades have brought countless sexual enhancement products for men, it wasn't until the most recent few years that women's products came to the market. Now there are many natural products for increasing female libido, based on herbs and vitamins that are known to settle hormonal fluctuations in women. These products are all based on research from civilizations around the world, and many women are already taking some of the ingredients in these supplements, like Black Cohosh, Vitamins A, B, C, etc. Alternatively, for women suffering from decreased orgasm sensitivity there now topical creams, also completely natural. These new creams are allowing women that were never able to experience orgasms to reach new heights of pleasure. Being based on natural ingredients, these products are medically approved and safe for women of all ages.
Female sexuality problems have become the focus of a new group of researchers. A high percentage of women suffer from decreasing libido, an inability to come to orgasm, or a number of other sexual problems. While there is no simple answer to female sexuality, there are plenty of techniques and even some different products for female sexual enhancement.
Friday, March 20, 2009 | 0 Comments
Get an Attractive Body
Numerous researches and surveys confirmed that:-
?Men are attracted to women by sight and all other feminine attributes take a back seat. So when a beautiful and attractive woman walks into a room, you can be sure that every male eye in the room will instinctively give her a top to toe glance unless of course that guy who didn't happened to be gay. Some men will already be making mental plans how to chat her up or even taking her to bed.
?Women's attraction to men is much more complicated. It is the total package that women will be looking for in a man. Good looks alone are not sufficient for a woman to fall head over heels with a man and sex is the last thing in her mind....erm....ahem ...usually.
So what do women find attractive in a man? Well researchers surmised that the women's maternal instinct will look for other attributes in a man besides good looks whether the women know it consciously or not. Some of these are that a man must be confident, must be able to communicate with her verbally and instinctively, must not be a wimp, must have the ability to protect her and her brood, have some quality traits to ensure that the best genes are passed on to her offsprings and a list of other features. Looking attractive is not at the top of the list or so the researches said
Did I say, looking attractive is not on the list? No, I did not. The gurus said so. Why do I disagree? Let me ask you another question. How many times have you heard a woman gushed "Ooooohhh...he is soooo gorgeous" or "Omigosh....Brad Pitt is sooooo handsome"? If that is not being attracted by attractive male good looks, then what is?
While I do agree that women will ultimately bed or marry a man with many other qualities, an attractive looking male will still be a women magnet or at least during the first contact. How else can women get to know a man or are able to assess his other traits without getting to know him first? So the initial attraction is still a good looking male who is attractive to women.
Do we agree now that men must look good to attract women? Now that we do, let us explore what physical features will make us attractive to women. We will not discuss facial features because we are stuck with it and nothing can be done except with surgery to reconstruct our face. That leaves us our male body of which we can sculpt and mould so that it is attractive to women.
Most women are not attracted to someone who is skinny or obese. This actually makes sense. A skinny man is instinctively perceived as too weak to protect her and an obese man too cumbersome to bring home the bread and may be prone to illneses. This compartmentalization may not be logical and are probably programmed in women's primeval maternal instinct.
On the other extreme, most women are also turned off by men with big huge muscles like those of professional bodybuilders. Reasons often repeated in surveys are that the couple will look unnatural. Normal human do not have such large muscles and therefore bodybuilders are intimidating. To make matters worse, many women whether if it is true or not declare that bodybuilders are narcissists as they spend hours and hours in the gym preening themselves so much so that they are insensitive to women's needs and so are therefore selfish people. It may not be true, but then these are what women perceived bodybuilders to be.
That then boils down to this, the reasonably muscular and fit man with the following body features attracts women:-
?Broad Back and Chest - Denotes confidence. Projects a strong respectful posture and demeanor.
?Sexy Six Pack Abs - The man is not obese and also with the six pack abs, he is strong and therefore he is not like the skinny weakling. He is also perceived to be great in bed, which adds icing to the cake eh?
?Strong Arms and Shoulders - Able to sweep her off her feet and protect the young ones. Also perceived the man to be hardworking and capable of bringing bread and butter to the table.
?Perky and Strong Butt - Indication of athletic prowess. An ability to jump and climb powerfully. Also some sexual innuendoes are hinted here.
?Strong Muscular Legs - An indication of preparedness for fight or flight when the situation demands.
Still don't believe me? Ask any women why do they swoon over Brad Pitt in the movie Troy and you will get the same answers. Therefore the researches are right. What attracts women to men is a package of many attributes. By owning a reasonably lean and muscular male body certainly embraces many of these traits which women find so attractive. So guys, when is your next gym workout?
Friday, March 20, 2009 | 0 Comments
Ladies, Is Your Valentine the Cheating Kind?
According to statistics, 50% to 70% of men cheat on their mates. What type of man is most likely to cheat? Ruth Houston, infidelity expert and author of “Is He Cheating on You? - 829 Telltale Signs" says, “Some men are more likely to cheat than others. You can tell by looking at certain things in their background, their past history, or certain character traits."
What about the man in your life? Is your valentine the cheating kind? Houston says the following questions will help you rate your mate to see if he’s a potential cheater.
Friday, March 20, 2009 | 0 Comments
Am I Weird If I Date Online?
True story: A few years back I was working with a client who had recently moved to Los Angeles. She was single, did not know many people in the big city, and felt a little lonely. I innocently suggested she give online dating a shot. It seemed like an easy and pressure-free way to meet people, and I had other clients who enjoyed their experience and were in good relationships as a result.
"What kind of desperate person do you think I am?!?" she snapped.
She apologized, but explained that she felt “weird" about online dating. This perked my curiosity, so later I asked some of my other clients if they ever tried it. Some only confessed after their faces turned three shades of crimson. Since I am a strong proponent of online dating, I dispel any stigma or embarrassment when I recommend it to my clients. This is what I tell them:
For many singles, life moves like Richard Petty around the Talladega Speedway. We change jobs every few years. We relocate more frequently. We cannot remember the last time we answered a phone with a cord. Even if time is not the issue, some single people cannot shake the feeling that everyone else is happy while they are always alone. We may look at online dating as an act of desperation, because “normal people don’t need something like that."
The simple fact is that you are not weird if you use an online dating service. We only feel weird when we think we are doing something outside the norm. Consider this: over 40 million people in the US access online dating websites every month. It is the fastest growing sector of online content. There is no reason to feel embarrassed, because if you date online you are actually part of a huge group.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to find someone special, or at the very least make some new friends, so why not use every resource available to you? You do not get extra points for meeting someone in a bar or while waiting for dry socks at the Laundromat. Does it matter to you how you met the important people already in your life? You probably barely even think about it.
By setting up a personal profile and a list of likes and dislikes, you invest time in yourself. More importantly, you are taking action by trying to improve yourself and your situation. You are putting yourself out there and taking control by refusing to be lonely and isolated.
I have found many advantages to the Internet. The anonymity of online dating allows you to roll out of bed, hair standing in ten different directions, breath smelling like Boston Harbor at low tide – then click! You stumble on a person you will be dating in a few weeks. The cost compared to going out and searching is next to nothing. You can learn more about a person’s interests to see if they mesh with yours. You do not have to deal with the harshness of rejection in person. You have a huge pool of people to explore (remember, 40 million!) from all walks-of-life, people you would never have the chance to meet within your neighborhood or small circle of friends.
There is also fraud and deception. You will probably come across a photo that looks eerily like Pamela Anderson – right down to the copyright in the lower corner. Clients tell me about married people posing as single. Nevertheless, these issues of honesty exist both on and off-line, so do not let that stop you from finding the partner you want.
With 43% of the U.S. population being single and with so many single clients asking me about Internet dating, I began to put a guide together to help my clients use this service effectively and safely and avoid these pitfalls. I want everyone to find the happiness they deserve and want to make this Tool book available to everyone for Free! To get your free E-Book, “Tools To Internet Dating" go to TheRelationshipTools.com and get your copy today.
Don’t be ashamed or afraid, learn the best and safest way to use the Internet to take control of your life and find the person you deserve!
Friday, March 20, 2009 | 0 Comments
Dating Women From Russia
I want to share with you information that the Russian marriage agencies don't tell you on their web sites.
Friday, March 20, 2009 | 0 Comments
Can Men And Women Be Friends?
Men and women can't really be just friends, can they? Of course not. There’s always that pesky sexual tension to contend with. And what about the spouse, spousal equivalent, or boyfriend/girlfriend who’s sure to be jealous? Plus, there’s the biological/sociological nesting imperative that women contend with and the hunting imperative that seems to drive men.
A number of years ago, a landmark study published by Dr. Don O'Meara, a sociology professor at Raymond Walters College, identified the following four key obstacles to the success of male-female friendships
The inability to define the relationship A fear of confronting feelings of sexual attraction The inability of both partners to see each other as equals Society’s response to a non-romantic relationship
(This is all of the above rolled into one: What’s going on here? Who do they think they are? They just won’t admit that they’re hot for each other!)
Let’s face it, when you come right down to it – there are just too many impediments and too many inherent differences between the sexes for cross-gender friendship to work. Right?
Wrong, wrong, and double-wrong – at least in today’s world.
Fifty years ago, when Harry met Sally, he was a breadwinner who worked outside the home and she was a stay-at-home mom (or stay-at-home spinster). Harry and Sally had very little in common and very few opportunities to explore their commonality. Their paths never crossed except at a church social, perhaps, or in situations that were specifically created to foster romance and, by extension, procreation and the continuation of the species. (Not the stuff sonnets are made of, perhaps, but good for society.)
That was then. This is now.
21st Century men and women follow their passions inside and outside the home and stand shoulder to shoulder as equals in most situations. In 2002, Harry and Sally work side by side at the office. They argue head-to-head at the boardroom table. They run hip to hip on the jogging trail. They may not see eye to eye on every issue, but they freely debate them in Internet chatrooms.
So today, not only do Harry and Sally have a solid foundation of shared interests on which to build a real friendship, they also have time and space to pursue a cross-gender friendship and a society that encourages them to do so. In fact, experts tell us that in today’s world, men and women in platonic friendships enjoy dozens and dozens of benefits from their relationships.
Interestingly, men seem to get more out of cross-sex friendship. In a study by a psychologist in private practice on Long Island in New York State, men rated cross-sex friendships higher in overall quality than their same-sex friendships. Men reported they most enjoyed talking and sharing with women - something they didn’t do with male friends.
All that sharing that men find so appealing – organic though it may be to women -- can be a bit of a drain, so les femmes say they turn to les hommes for a different dynamic. With men, women say they enjoy the lightness of not having to carry someone else’s emotional ‘baggage.’ Women may also derive a sense of safety and protection from their male platonic friends – much as they might from a big brother. Interestingly, women say the chance to learn ‘what guys are REALLY thinking" is the number 1 benefit of cross-gender friendship.
So does Harry WANT Sally? You bet. But if he can’t have her ‘that way,’ friendship will do quite nicely, thank you!
Friday, March 20, 2009 | 0 Comments
Online Dating - 8 Sizzling Tips To Make Your Profile Standout!
We know one of the hardest part of creating your profile is describing yourself to others. Dating pearl.com gives you the freedom to define & express yourself so you can put your best foot forward. Following are some time tested nuggets that can assist you in creating a compelling & attention grabbing profile.
Friday, March 20, 2009 | 0 Comments
How Valentine’s Day Gifts Can Expose a Cheating Husband
If you have the nagging feeling that your husband may be having an affair, this is the ideal time to confirm what you suspect. The Valentine’s Day gifts he gives or receives can provide you with tangible proof of his infidelity.
Friday, March 20, 2009 | 0 Comments
Time For A Quickie!!
Technique! We seem to have become obsessed by it! There are probably thousands of books offering detailed explanations of ways to make love to your partner. But what about spontaneity? Where's that gone? What about the pleasures of the impromptu quickie? You're both horny, there's a raw urgency in the air, and you need it NOW!
Some women are afraid to let their partner know that they'd like a quickie. Supposing he misinterprets it and thinks you just want a quick shag that can be over and done within next to no time because you can't be bothered with the 'real thing'? The truth is, if you're horny and lusting for him, wanting a quickie will just show how much you still fancy him on a physical basis. You wouldn't feel irked at being desperately wanted by the bloke you fancy most, would you?
Sex serves many purposes and variation is no bad thing. One purpose is the reinforcement of that private bond which exists only between the two of you; something nobody else can share in. For this reason, having a quickie in a 'forbidden' situation can actually strengthen the relationship. When everybody is in full swing at the party, a couple that go outside and urgently make love have a secret that's theirs alone.
The excitement of being found out is also frequently linked with quickie sex. Having a quick romp in a semi-public place (such as behind the garage at the above mentioned party) can be highly stimulating. The feeling of 'naughtiness' often leads to intense arousal, culminating in delicious sex that's equally as good as the sex we'd ordinarily have in our comfortable beds with plenty of foreplay.
The term 'sex-positions' takes on a whole new meaning with quickie sex and couples often find themselves in positions that they'd never have otherwise experimented with. Old pieces of furniture, a wall, a washing machine or anything else that happens to be close by comes into its own when no-frills sex is on the menu.
One or both partners are usually partially dressed, something which in itself can be very arousing. Being held up against a wall with one breast outside your bra, your knickers around your knees and trying not to kick those litter bins for fear of attracting unwanted attention.... well, it could just as easily be a fantasy!
There's no right time or place for a quickie. Only your imagination can limit where and when. If you really want it, you'll find a place or situation that will be suitable for a bout of urgent sex. The kitchen table, the garden shed, or even a toilet seat will do. Just keep one thing in mind - no matter how desperate you are, it really isn't a good idea to subject unwitting by-passers to your amorous frolics. There are plenty of exhibitionists around, but we aren't all voyeurs!
Friday, March 20, 2009 | 0 Comments
Internet Dating – It’s Not For Geeks
Six months ago an old school friend and I were chatting over coffee, putting the world to rights as women do. She was bemoaning her lack of success in meeting the “right sort" of men. I asked her if she had tried using an internet dating service, and the look of horror that spread across her face gave the instant answer – of course not! Internet dating, she informed me, was for the sad, desperate, geeky or freaky.
Sadly this type of response is typical of people from all walks of life. Why sadly? Because those who instantly dismiss such services are missing out on a great opportunity.
The traditional argument for not using the internet to meet someone is that it is not natural. So what is natural? Where have people traditionally met their husbands, wives, lovers, and friends? Statistically, over the past 50 years the most common place for meeting ones spouse has been the workplace. This is hardly surprising given the ever increasing amounts of time most people are finding themselves working. Other common meeting places include bars, nightclubs, and parties, and some lucky few meet their lifetime partner early in life at college or university. However, the workplace remains number one for long term relationships.
The reason for this is simple; lasting long term relationships are usually born out of robust friendships, and strong friendships form over time. Spend eight hours a day five days a week with the same people and you will get to know them very well. It is not uncommon in the modern world to spend more time with your colleagues than with your family, an unfortunate but true fact of life.
The increasing amounts of time we as a society are spending working is leaving less time to spend in social environments outside of the office, which means less opportunity to meet new people. So if you don’t meet someone at work, where else is there? Enter the dating agency.
Dating agencies are not a new idea, they have been around a very long time. The internet has simply served as a new medium for bringing people together in a tried and tested way that agencies have used for years. However, it offers some unique advantages for those seeking a partner. Firstly it has lowered the cost of running a dating service, and that means agency dating has been opened up to a much wider audience. Secondly, it has broken down geographical barriers in a way that off-line agencies could never hope to. This is an important point because not everyone is looking for their future husband or wife on their doorstep. Indeed not everyone is looking for a future husband or wife; the explosion in internet dating has made it easier than ever to find new friends and correspondents across the globe.
These two points mean that some of the bigger agency sites now have in excess of three million members, and literally thousands of new members joining every day. With that many people, if you are serious about finding a partner, lover, or a friend, then the internet is simply too big a resource to ignore. And ‘net dating is safe too; there is no need to exchange real names or even email addresses until you feel you know someone well enough. All the services allow you to block unwanted communication and so there is no fear of being pestered. Used sensibly, internet dating can be safer than almost any other way of meeting people.
The internet has revolutionised the way we work, shop, conduct our financial affairs, and entertain ourselves. To use it as a medium for meeting new people is a logical step in our fast changing world.
After that chat six months ago, I convinced my friend to post a profile on a dating site, she didn’t even have to pay anything to do so unless she wanted to start sending messages to other members of the site. Now I never see her because she is spending all of her time with her new man. She didn’t find him in five minutes like some of the sales pitches would like you to believe, but then six months ago she didn’t expect to find him at all.
Friday, March 20, 2009 | 0 Comments
The 7 Stages of a Romantic Relationship
There are seven stages in a romantic relationship: avoidance, meeting, dating, breaking up, establishing exclusivity, commitment, and keeping the love you find. Each of these stages vary in length and intensity. At each stage, there are thoughts and feelings telling you what to do and when to do it. You need to learn to listen to your intuition in each stage, so that you can make smart decisions.
Friday, March 20, 2009 | 0 Comments
Sexual Networking in the Fish Bowl
are the girl and guy friends that you hang out every weekend with. You know everything that is going on in each other’s life, you are there for each other and it seems like you will always be together. We are the generation that made St. Elmo’s Fire a cult classic.
But why do we limit ourselves to dating within our own circle of friends? Once you have been in that same circle of friends for a number of years the act of dating within your group can actually elevate itself to the “creepy" stage and begin to resemble incest instead of dating. A have a number of girlfriends that seem to continuously date every single guy in our group, jumping from one to the other as if it were a taste test. This behavior is not limited to the females only; my male friends enjoy the same sort of lifestyle. Myself and few others excluded, I think every one of my friends have hooked up with each other at some point in time. For example, I have a girlfriend who is sexually active with three different guy friends. She really likes one of them but he is just interested in the sex. Unbeknownst to her, he is really into another girlfriend who is the her best friend and neither one of them know about it. Meanwhile the girl he really digs is into and involved with another guy friend who is his good friend. And it goes on and on from there. Although we are all good friends, it has become a complex tangle of sexual and emotional deceit.
Casual sex can be such a pleasure. It is fabulous to have someone you can call at 2am or even on your lunch hour when you need immediate gratification. But if we are single, why do we continue to find our booty calls within our own troupe? I think the answer has to do with a certain comfort level we experience when we know the person for years on end.
Instead of looking to your best friend’s ex as your next lustful victim, try moving outside of the reassuring boundaries that your circle of friends creates. For one thing, dating every one else’s ex lovers can create a nasty situation in the future. We have all seen it happen. It can cause isolation, rifts between friendships and some nasty name calling to say the least. People need to look for new dating partners elsewhere. Try new venues, grand openings, meeting people at the gym or at that trendy new restaurant. We meet new people every day yet sometimes we fear those we don’t know. There is no reason to.
Dating outside the group will also help to keep your close knit friends even closer because you will completely avoid what could turn out to be a jealous rivalry between good friends. There are four million people in the city of Houston alone and even if you don’t live in a big city such as Houston, there are bound to be thousands of available singles right where you are. These statistics hardly compare to the number of your usual cohorts….you should be able to find compatible and yummy new companions in the dating sea of singles and singlets. Stop using your own fish bowl for fishing purposes.
Now, the Diva is not saying that you should go ahead and have crazy head banging sex with every new person you meet, although that would keep the condom supply and manufacturing economy sizzling. I am just saying that we need to get out more. There is so much diversity and wonderful new people to experience everyday in the big city so why not take full advantage of it? Get out there and create new social groups, meet more people and dare the world to stop you.
Friday, March 20, 2009 | 0 Comments
Sexual Tips - Dominant by Day, Submissive by Night
If you are like most men out there, you probably have no idea what makes those head-strong, powerful and intelligent career women “tick". I am referring to those women you see in power suits, managing a company or running her own, who seem completely invincible and on top of the world. These women know what they want in life and they do not stop until they get it. They are fast talkers, they can close a deal with a simple wink of the eye, they can make a male subordinate cry with the slightest of disappointed looks and they will never settle for anything less than perfect sexual equality. Furthermore, I think we can all agree that these are the sexiest women out there. Men just love to imagine what they have on underneath those designer suits.
The common train of thought and logic would lead you to assume that these women are just as domineering in the bedroom behind closed doors. Generally speaking, this is actually the furthest thing from the truth. Every person out there is different with regards to their personality in life and what turns them on after hours, and there will be many variations and deviances from the norm. However, most of the fierce and passionate women in the workforce love nothing more than to come home and be completely subjugated and ravaged by a very strong and masculine man.
Friday, March 20, 2009 | 0 Comments
Dating in the New Millenium
Over the past 20 years the face of dating has gone through some noticeable changes. Traditional methods of finding a date would be to rely on friends to play matchmaker or to attend bars, various different social events and parties. We now rely on internet service providers to open the doors for romance. Whether we like it or not, the internet has changed our lives especially in the way we date and meet people.
Friday, March 20, 2009 | 0 Comments
Q&A on Marriage problems - Our Sex Life is Horrible
Question 1 : Our Sex Life is Horrible
I am a woman, 42, who three years ago married a wonderful man who will be 48 on his next birthday. I love him very, very much. The only problem is our sex life is horrible. Pretty much nonexistent. I can safely say we have had sex maybe 20 times in our six year relationship.
When I've tried numerous times to talk to him, he gets defensive and says, 'There's nothing wrong with me.' He also says, if I want to have sex, I should just say so. But when I make advances, he pushes me away thinking I am playing with him. Then he leaves the room. Of course I get frustrated, out of the mood, and give up.
I love my husband so much I don't make a big deal of it, although I know this is not normal or healthy. I can't get him to go to counseling or discuss this. I am at my sexual peak, and I am tired of dreaming of sex with other men. I want our relationship to work, but I just don't know how much longer I can go on like this.
Answer 1
Claire, you can work on planting a garden, you can work on your weight loss, you can work on your reading speed. But you cannot work on someone else's problem, unless they are willing, and failure is guaranteed when they tell you they do not have a problem.
Thoreau said, 'It takes two to speak the truth--one to speak and another to hear.' Your husband will not hear or discuss reality, the reality of the situation as you see it. You married him knowing he had this problem. Marriage does not cure a problem, it makes you a party to it for awhile.
Is this the hard lesson you had to learn? That you cannot marry a man with a serious problem and expect to fix it.
Wayne & Tamara
Question 2 : Calling Her Bluff
I've been with my boyfriend for four years, and he is going through the longest divorce known to man. His soon-to-be ex knows of me and told him she is insanely jealous. She makes my life complete hell by e-mailing him sexual innuendoes, asking him for expensive gifts, and calling him an average of 12 times a day.
I told him to cut the cord. If he wants to be with me, he has to protect me, be true to me, and make me feel secure in this relationship. We even tried counseling a few years back, and then he cheated on me with her. Many times I told him to get on with this divorce or I would be gone, but it doesn't seem to scare him anymore.
How do I get my point across to this man, and do I have any grounds to tell this woman to leave him alone and just tend to her children?
Answer 2 :
Paige, the one thing which may set you free is to look on this situation from a different point of view. He didn't cheat on you with her. She's his wife. He's cheating on her with you. You describe her as his soon-to-be ex, but 'soon-to-be ex' is a term more likely to describe your future, not hers.
You threaten and threaten to leave, and you never do. Bluffing in poker may be good strategy, but bluffing in life is weak. Once your bluff is called, you've lost all power and all credibility. And counseling? Think about how funny that is. You went for relationship counseling with a man in a marriage to another woman.
Why do you keep plodding forward? Because you want to be married. There is nothing wrong with that. But you cannot marry someone who is already married. There is a simple solution. Don't give up wanting to be married, just give up married men.
Friday, March 20, 2009 | 0 Comments